Story Behind The Song

I wrote this at the request of a man in England who asked me to write a spec song for a comic operetta in Gilbert and Sullivan's style. His performance is wonderful! Unfortunately, his project fell through, so I never was paid, so I have all the rights to this, including his performance.

Song Description

A witty and whimsical operetta-style tale of the Earl of Sandwich, whose love for gambling and convenience leads to the accidental invention of the most beloved handheld meal in history--sparking astonishment, delight, and a culinary revolution among nobles and commoners alike!

Lyrics

The Earl of Sandwich
(A Comic Operetta-Style Song)

[Verse 1]
In England's grand and stately halls, where lords do wine and dine,
There lived a nobleman so bold, with brilliance quite divine.
Not one for forks or fussy plates, nor feasts of great display,
He dreamed of something swift and neat--a meal without delay!

(Faster patter-style section)
"Aha!" said the Earl, "I have it at last!
No need for a plate or a fork held fast!
Just bread and some meat--stacked layer by layer,
A meal most refined, yet delightfully bare!"

[Chorus]
Oh, the Earl of Sandwich, a genius profound!
A marvel of munching--his fame does resound!
With cold cuts and cheeses in delicate tier,
He's fed both the princes and paupers, my dear!

[Verse 2]
Now, wagers and gaming consumed his fair mind,
Yet hunger would strike him--his fate so unkind!
"No knives! No delay! Let the cook now prepare,
A dish I can grasp with a hand in the air!"
And so, in a moment both simple and grand,
The sandwich was born at the Earl's own hand!

(Faster, exaggerated section)
The lords took a bite, then shouted with glee,
"Why, this is a feast most delightful to see!
No need for a spoon or a cumbersome tray--
I say, dear old chap, you have saved the whole day!"

[Chorus]
Oh, the Earl of Sandwich, a legend indeed!
A noble whose brilliance has planted the seed!
With mustard and butter and meats piled high,
His marvelous munching will never run dry!

[Bridge] (Slower, dramatic)
From parlors to taverns, his wonder is spread,
A meal most efficient, now loved and well-bred!
Be it turkey or ham, be it cheddar or brie,
The name of the sandwich lives on, can't you see?

[Final Chorus]
Oh, hail to the Earl; let us sing him his praise!
His edible triumph shall last all our days!
With bread ever golden and fillings galore,
The sandwich shall reign now and evermore!

[Outro - Comedic Flourish]
So grab one and feast, whether noble or poor--
For the Earl's grand invention shall live evermore!